I Hate you Father
by Love Alchemist
Summary: A short look into Yami Malik's mind during the events after his creation and up to his first appearance.


I am proud of this baby. It goes with a pic I made... and I just lurve this one to pieces now! This is a try to give personality and depth to Yami Malik, but still keep IC. I think I managed quite well. /hugs her baby/ But I don't know...  
And the progressing shorter sentence of "I hate you father" is all Yami Malik... and him... well, you'll see when you read the fic, hopefully it will be understandable. And I'm _not_ sure of the genre of this thing.....

Hnn... Right, I just fixed a few spelling mistakes and stuff in it, since it simply was too good to leave alone.

Warnings; some manner of spoliers since it mentions (however fractured) the events surrounding Yami Malik's first appearance and events related to that.

_/thoughts/_

* * *

"I hate you, father." 

Those four whispered words were the first ones he heard, both mentally and physically. They resonated within him, echoing with his very being. This was what he was, what he had come into being for. This was his existense.

_I hate you father_

It was that easy. Only that existed for the longest time, burning within him, giving him purpose and easing the burden on the rest of their fractured mind, away from the bright, innocent soul that was full of dreams. Away from that strong flame that held such warmth and caring, who was so full of everything. Away from his butterfly that was fluttering too closely to the candle that was their deep, dark secret. The unchecked anger that he had been created from and that he now held guard over.

_I hate you..._

It was a brittle balance, and could easily be destroyed by the lightest of pushes. The bright one was not made for the darkness that lent an eternal night to these underground tunnels. He was made from sunlight, and air. From the loving touch of Ra. But this beam of sunlight was hidden away because of traditions, because of authorithy. It was their father's fault. ALL OF IT. HIS fault. What was his right? Ra himself had blessed this child with a part of himself, so what right had the man who had concieved them to keephis bright onehere? Those thoughts burned within him as the years went by, but the anger never swelled beyond his control. It was still manageable.

_I hate..._

And then it was too late. Too much. The sunlight had been beautiful, sending happy shivers through them that did not come from cold, but simply from the sensation of direct sunlight on their too-long chilled skin. The light breeze had been fantastic too, making the bright one giggle happily and smile up at the ball of flames in the sky and the blue-blue heavens above them. It all had confirmed what he had thought all along; his bright one was of the air and sun, and shouldn't have to stay underground. But they had to go back at the end of the day, where else was there to go? Besides, Isis would be unhappy if they didn't go back. And then they saw it, and it had been too much for his bright one. Their brother. Hurt. Whipped. Bloodied. NO. Anger and hate surged under the surface, barely controlled, like a leashed storm. And his bright one was slipping away! He could not allow that! He was the one who should take care of this... it was what he had been created for after all. So with force born from their shared pain, he took control of his bright one's concious, sending the lost beam of Ra deep into their mind. This was his purpose, his life, his very SOUL. _I HATE YOU FATHER._ There was no other thought in his mind as he got to work, their hate, frustration, pain and anger pouring out from him at once, into this one concentrated effort. The one who concieved his bright one would not be of any threat to their mind or existense anymore. His bright one would be able to go back into the sun, to his real father.

_I HATE...._

Feeling was trickling back into him, beginning at his hands. The metal in his hands was warm, made slippery by the blood running down the blade and his arms. The coppery taste in his mouth was all wrong, wrong! He didn't... wide, dazed eyes stared down at the lifeless body of their father. His reason... his beginning... but not his end. He first felt triumph. He had survived beyond the reason for his creation, he was STRONGER than that reason. Then he felt it... the surging anger... pain... HATE. It was all he was and he couldn't control it anymore. There was nothing for him to focus his attention on anymore. The clamor in the private part of their shared mind that was his rose. Colors screamed before his eyes, irresistible forces that all tore at him for attention, his mind, his very self. There was no reason anymore... and he could not control himself... He hated... hated... he... Confusion rose, and then the pain, nothing was clear anymore. It was all tainted, tainted with the blood of their father. Nothing was clean anymore, it WAS ALL TO BE HATED. He screamed as the darkness that was himself swallowed up all his reason and leaved only a void of  
HATE...  
.... PAIN...  
.... .... ANGER...

... and the blood of his reason spattered everywhere. It would all DIE. _/lost, so lost.... when did I lose myself... caught... can't control... nothing is in focus anymore... it... all... I hate you father, but there's no... no reason for that anymore... there's nothing to control... control me./_ And the blood was everywhere and he would have to clean everything off it. EVERYTHING. It would all BURN.

_...... HATE....._

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/Pets Yami Malik/ Poor thing, always misunderstood. I've begun to think that if things had been _normal_ then the being we know as Yami Malik would rather have been a split personality of Malik, taking care of what he couldn't handle. But the death of "their" father, and the Shadow magic drove him crazy after he had killed the reason he was created for; Malik's father. 

**Eye-Of-Misery**; Thank you. That was the effect I was going for, glad you liked it.  
**WolfGirl90**; Thank you! 3 But I don't know if this one will be continued... hard to continue something like this and give it the continued right feeling. But we'll see. Maybe there will be coming something, but that's doubtable.


End file.
